If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
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