What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
Randomize
