We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
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