i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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