I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
Randomize
