i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Randomize
