physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
Randomize
