You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
Randomize
