I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Randomize
