Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
We need to rekindle our bromance
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
