I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
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