tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
Randomize
