New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
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