Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
Randomize
