I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
two words: eviction party
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
She bit a glass in half.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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