i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
it's not cheating when I paid for it
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
Randomize
