What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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