so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
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