someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
Randomize
