When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
Randomize
