Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
