I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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