Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
Randomize
