My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
Drunk in a bar in Texas. The 24 y/o hottie I am chatting up just called me a male cougar. I am dealing with this whole turning 40 thing juuuust fine.
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
