his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
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