OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
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