True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
why does every cop we meet know your name?
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
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