I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
Randomize
