So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Randomize
