No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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