thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Randomize
