I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Randomize
