I think I just saw someone hide a body.
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
I am one with the molecules
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize
