I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
