So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
Randomize
