i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
OPIZZABONMYDICK
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
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