he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
Randomize
