you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
Randomize
