Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
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