But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
