about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Randomize
