dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
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