Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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