So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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