he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
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