the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize
