Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
Randomize
