She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
