is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
Randomize
