Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
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