I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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