Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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