what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
