Rock
Scissors
Fuck
I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
