My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
BRING THE BAGELS
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
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